Yesterday was my birthday.
I’ve actually felt this age for a while now. I’m still at the point of my life where I am eager to be slightly older, especially as a teacher, so I’ve already been thinking of myself at this age and…possibly already telling people who don’t know me well that I am this age ;). Since it’s a big birthday, I was reflecting and thinking about where I’m at in my journey.
1. I have come to the realization that I…know nothing. Yep, still have not ARRIVED yet, or so it seems. The wisdom that I thought would be upon me as I progressed in life still seems to not be there, and the me of the future that I have envisioned does not seem to have materialized. But I also have come to realize that…it’s OK.
2. I am still a beginner at teaching. Not there yet. Won’t be for some time. And I really need to be OK with that. I love the quote on Pinterest “Allow yourself to be a beginner, no one starts off being excellent.” I don’t know who said it, but they very well could have been a teacher. It’s probably one of the few jobs where you kinda need to be great on a regular basis (since kids are depending on you and all) and yet you have to completely learn on the job. No credential program can fully prepare you for what you will face, especially since every day’s chock full of new challenges.
3. God doesn’t want me to just be comfortable. Sometimes when I fail, or am just overwhelmed with all I have to do, I think that maybe I need to try some other career path, something easier. Maybe some “quiet” job where I don’t have to be social all the time and can just be completely behind the scenes. But then I realize that the easy way is not necessarily the best way. God wants to grow me, and He seems to really like using methods that are not the most comfortable.
How can I grow in being bold if I never step out?
How can I grow confident in speaking God’s truth if I stay quiet?
How can I minister to others if I allow insecurities to rule my heart?
I feel more than ever that God has me where He wants me, and I am learning to rest in who He is. The verse that recently spoke so loudly to my heart was 1 Corinthians 15:58
“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord”
Wow. When I read that I thought-This was for me. Written centuries ago, and yet speaks so clearly to what I need to be focused on TODAY. I love how God does that!
4. Finally, I realize that as the conversation among my co-workers while we eat lunch at Applebees turns to me being single, and how I can find a guy, I can just go along with it. I can smile and take in the advice, knowing it comes from a group who cares about me, wants me to be happy, and just really thinks that maybe one option is I go to a really good Christian singles group (I guess you never know-“he” could be there!) And I also know that even if this time next year I’m still single, God has a plan and… it’s OK
Here’s to this next year – anticipating what God will do, and resting in His plans for me.